--- title: "Caring for Elderly Parents: A Practical Family Guide" description: "Caring for aging parents: how to spot when help is needed, start the conversation, share the work, sort out money and paperwork, and find support." url: https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/caring-for-elderly-parents/ updated: 2026-10-09 site: Senior Transition Assistance --- For families # Caring for elderly parents: a practical guide for families If you're starting to worry about Mom or Dad, you're in good company. Most of the families who call us are adult children. Here's a calm, practical way through it. Talk it through with a person[ (800) 614-8388 ](tel:+18006148388) Free. We listen, explain your options, and introduce you to a few that fit. You decide. Quick answer Caring for elderly parents usually starts with noticing small changes, then talking honestly, getting a clear picture of health, money and paperwork, and sharing the work among family. Look at the options early (more help at home, independent or assisted living) so you aren't choosing in a crisis. Take breaks and use local support. [(800) 614-8388](tel:+18006148388) if you'd like to talk it through with a person, free. **Last updated October 9, 2026** Costs are published medians or typical ranges with a named source, never quotes. Every community and agency prices differently. **On this page** 1. [ Notice what's changing](#g-notice-what-s-changing) 2. [Start the conversation early](#g-start-the-conversation-early) 3. [Get the paperwork in order](#g-get-the-paperwork-in-order) 4. [Share the work](#g-share-the-work) 5. [Know the options](#g-know-the-options) 6. [Take care of yourself](#g-take-care-of-yourself) 7. [Questions](#g-faq) ## Notice what's changing Visit at different times of day. Look at the fridge, the mail, the medications, the car, the stairs. Ask their doctor (with permission) what they're seeing. Write it down. Our checklist: [when is it time for assisted living](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/help/assisted-living/when-is-it-time/). ## Start the conversation early - Pick a calm moment, not a holiday dinner. - Start with what you've noticed and how you feel, not a solution. - Ask what they want. Most people want to stay near friends, church and doctors. - Expect more than one conversation. ## Get the paperwork in order - Durable power of attorney for finances. - Health care power of attorney and advance directive. - A list of doctors, medications, insurance and accounts. - Where the will, deed, titles and policies are. - For veterans, the DD-214 discharge papers. An elder law attorney can help with the legal documents. ## Share the work One sibling often ends up doing most of it. Divide jobs by strengths: one handles money, one handles appointments, one visits weekly, one researches options. Put it in writing and check in monthly. If you live far away, see [long-distance caregiving](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/long-distance-caregiving/). ## Know the options From more help at home to independent living, assisted living or memory care, each fits a different level of need. See [senior living options](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/help/senior-living-options/) and [what it costs](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/costs/). ## Take care of yourself Caregiving is a marathon. Use [respite care](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/help/respite-care/), adult day programs and support groups. Your Area Agency on Aging can connect you with local caregiver programs: call the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116. ### Not sure where to start? Tell us what's going on with your parent. We'll listen, explain the options near them, and help you plan the next step. Free. [ (800) 614-8388 ](tel:+18006148388)[Have us call you](#g-form) ## Questions families ask ### How do I know when my parent needs more help? Changes in hygiene, eating, medications, driving, housekeeping and mood are common signs. A fall or hospital stay often brings it to a head. ### What if my parent refuses help? Go slowly, keep them in charge of decisions, and start small, like a few hours of help a week. See [when a parent refuses help](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/parent-refuses-help/). ### Can I get paid to care for my parent? Sometimes, through Medicaid self-direction or VA caregiver programs. See [paid family caregivers](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/help/paying-for-it/paid-family-caregiver/). ### Where can I get local help? Your Area Agency on Aging, through the Eldercare Locator at 1-800-677-1116, or call us. ## Sources - [National Institute on Aging: Caregiving](https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/caregiving) - [Eldercare Locator (U.S. Administration for Community Living), 1-800-677-1116](https://eldercare.acl.gov/) - [ACL: Long-term care planning](https://acl.gov/ltc) ## Related guides - [For families](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/) - [When is it time for assisted living?](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/help/assisted-living/when-is-it-time/) - [Senior living options](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/help/senior-living-options/) - [Respite care](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/help/respite-care/) - [Paying for it](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/help/paying-for-it/) - [Area Agency on Aging](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/area-agency-on-aging/) - [Family caregivers](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/family-caregiver/) - [Long-distance caregiving](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/long-distance-caregiving/) - [When a parent refuses help](https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/parent-refuses-help/) --- Canonical page: https://seniortransitionassistance.com/for-families/caring-for-elderly-parents/